distressingly depressive !!!

so dearest hume, finally marked us on the assignments- and has got me all obsessed !!! I mean I ddnt fail and all, its been a while since i ducked a subject, which to think of is quite amusing ... but yea - arsehole did mark me bad. 17/30 - not too good aye ! Expected atleast a 22. However it is a tad too mystifying since he posted this ...

Also, I should apologise for the disparity of the mark on your paper and the mark appearing on the Gradebook. I was thinking in terms of a mark out of 25 but the assignment is out of 30. So on paper you have a mark out of 25 but the correct mark, out of 30 appears on the Gradebook. Flakey thinking after starting marking too late in the evening...

like chootiah .. decide .. cuz if its 17/25, i am wasting ma time posting this ;) u know .. quite some energy goes into typing this shit. Getting to the point, whats disturbing is not the marks, not like I spent some 2363834 years, doing research and then spent some random 329 hours getting anxiety attacks like anita does, and typing out ma research. Proudly I confess, the report was drawn in a span of two days, with both nights spent clubbing @ shooters * goldcoast * and getting wasted. So considering that .. Its alwite.

But this wud be ma first pass grade thru ma whole masters :P ok ok I am lying - second alwite, but tat was pure racism, every non australian got pass .. No lies -haan so techincally this is ma first pass grade ... and that upsets me, which is DISGUSTING. Since when did i turn into those obsessive geeks to whom grades matter. Like hell - I never got a first class in the last 22 years ;) *except ma last sem - three credits and all* and I have no regrets !!!

s.s.c - 59.83% * to which ma dad said, see lil more hardwork and I could have been proud of my son ..thinking i'll want the earth to tear apart and all ... but they got me a cell phone*

H.s.c- 58.93% * showed some stability which i am proud of, quite amusing the 8 & 9 swapping, again my dad repeated dialouge ... they really really think I care :P but anyways this time they bought me a car*

and finally T.Y BCOM - 49% * my parents had lost all hope by this time, considering I got like 36% in fy lol .. only if I wud have showed this talent earlier in ma boards, I have heard the board gifts u a cycle if u get like exact 35% .. i wonder if anyone ever has won it .. I will inspire my children tho .. anyways this time ma father spared any remarks, I cud see he was thankful I passed and ma parents bought me new cell and all again, no fair considering its like t.y so i shud have gotten a better gift than H.S.C .. like maybe an airplane or something dood !*

haan point being - marks dont matter to me, I am an imbecile and I openly advertise this. I cant study ... Education kills me and all. Why the F*** am I obsessing then?#@?? . What worries me is not the marks, but the exaggerated reaction or the remorse and repentance I display over these marks.

So in this moment of confounding perplexity I turned to ma soul mate Tanuvati - who btw starts nauseating over an International Burp. Australia to Nerul. Raviiiiiiiii - how can u burp - u know I am unwell no *swollen intestine and all* now I am all nauseous!!! errr ...over a telephonic burp??? just one of those gratifying skills of Ms. Shukla. Nonetheless, according to tanuvati, behind every irrevocable soul like me, lies some hope .. tats all bullocks.

I am already dealing with way too many changes, sadly none of them are physical .. like some height growth, weight loss and all of that. All these subnormal alterations really get me depressed. I am happy and content with my marks, yet I am Obsessing.

I emailed dearest hume anyways - asking him for a clarification,but considering that the weekend is here and life here just stalls over the weekend - *stupid university with stupid professors who mark unfairly* I am just gonna sit here Obesessing over my new found depression and procrastinate futher obligations towards my education thus inviting many more brain numbing obsessions which I swear are distressingly depressive !!!