retrospective ...

It wasnt ever meant to be this way. No, nothing like this. He wasnt supposed to be who he is. Some link somewhere has gone missing, a vital one at that !

open windows, pale sky, laughing kids, this daunting existence. look beyond the troubles they said, look look look look, is all they said.

warped. preposterous. deranged. this is them. them whom I heart.

he hid beneath the bed. he saw them fight. he saw her scream, he saw her rebel. he saw him blow, he saw him abuse. he saw their delinquency. yet he survived, then why today? why today I ask? Maybe cuz he never hid, maybe cuz he just took it all in like a helpless observer. He shudnt have, he never should have !

That is not him, not the man in the window. He is down there, struggling. destitute of what he longs for. That is him, there. Look at him. Laugh. Laugh some more.

Excuse him, while he contemplates the ironies of this life. This life, this very unassembled life. Find, find yourself they insisted, before you get reprogammed.

look, look beyond those troubles. There is hope, there, we can see it, then why cant you ?!?

The very irony of this life. This life, this vexatious life.